Fill 'er Up

Diagnosed and overmedicated
I vomit into the emptiness with purpose
     Filling it with anything proves it has end
In this morning
With a stream of rain leaking in the roof
     I’m celebrating paranoia and the joy it brings
Everyone watching me is far better
than nobody noticing me at all
     Even if they’re not
With solitude comes inhibition
     the ability to walk about naked
     and cackle at adolescent knock=knocks
Read to me, mommy, read to me
But she’s gone into destitution
     Rambling on with twisted nerve endings
Forgiving an anonymous stranger
     Remembering the summer when I snuck out
Conditional love hurting more than none at all
I’m stuck in the cycle
     record skipping with ‘she loves me, she loves me nots’
only even petaled flowers grow in my garden
But they grow into strong stalks
as the rain pounds down.